Defense: Kobe is a perennial NBA All-Defensive First Team selection, and frankly this isn' teven a competition between he and LeBron. The King has picked it up on the defensive end in the second half of year according to some analysts, but still isn't a lock-down one-on-one defender in this league (perhaps because although he is a ridiculous athlete, his lateral movement isn't as swift as everyone thinks and players seem to have no trouble driving right by him). Kobe not only guards the other team's best player when games are on the line, but also gets matched up against the opposition's best defender and gives his team a huge advantage on both ends. Edge: Kobe Bryant.

Intangibles: LeBron has a sixth sense on defense, and often comes up with big-time steals that nobody else can make, however his and Kobe's steal numbers are nearly identical, as are their blocked shot totals. LeBron is a better passer, there's no questioning that, although their assists are very similar and regardless of what some say, LeBron has a far superior supporting cast. LeBron is also seven years younger, and seven years down the road he could...and I mean COULD end up doing things that Kobe never did. But will he ever be able to drop 65 points in a game when he's being double and triple-teamed and simply dominate on both ends of the floor? It's just too difficult to say at this point. Slight Edge: LeBron James.
Will to Win: You'd be delusional to not understand that Kobe Bryant is simply the most competitive person in the NBA (After all, he is the only guy who actually tried in the All-Star game this year). His team is terrible...which is probably why he's decided to put them on his back and carry them into the playoffs, and those of you who are going to say that Lamar Odom is a great player had better not even start with it...yea he is good if you like a 6'10" guy who settles primarily for jumpers and is one of the most prolific "chargers" in the game when he goes to the hole. Kobe has spent most of this year deferring to these average-at-best players, and it's been nice to see that he can play that style too, however the problem is that they just do not win games when Kobe doesn't dominate (Case in point: 3-0 over the last 3 games with Kobe scoring 65, 50 & 60 respectively, all in games that were competitive down the stretch).

This braindead fan wonders, if they are just delaying the inevitable, why not now?

- submitted by David Ulam

Many sports fans and talk show hosts who choose (or are simply incapable of anything greater) a shallow view of the Cleveland sports scene perceive Showalter's presence as that of a manager-in-waiting. If Eric Wedge falters, Showalter is ready and waiting to take over the reigns. We here at CursedCleveland.com don't believe this is the case.

The Indians organization has denied the existence of any order of succession behind Wedge and claim that Showalter is in the fold simply as an advisor and assistant to Shapiro and Wedge. Since no professional sports organization has ever lied to or misled the media and general public before, we won't expect anything less of the Indians...

Still, Showalter's presence presents a predicament for the entire organization, although Wedge and his staff may be put in the most difficult situation.

Buck Showalter despises facial hair and has banned it at his prior big league stops. With the Indians being a fairly young team that has lacked the discipline to penetrate baseball's second season under the tutelage of Wedge, it isn't out of the question for Showalter to get into Shapiro's ear and suggest that his ultra-conservative grooming policy be enacted with the Tribe.

While players have never appreciated relinquishing their freedoms in the past, it may not be a major issue with the 2007 Tribe. At last check, the only Tribesmen to sport any bristle of significance were CC Sabathia, Paul Byrd, Roberto Hernandez, Jason Davis, and Matt Miller. With Davis and Miller fighting to make the team it shouldn't take much to entice them to pick up the Gillette Fusion. The consummate team player, Byrd would gladly do anything for the betterment of the whole (It remains to be seen if upon releasing his "fastball" Byrd could shave his entire goatee before the ball reaches the catchers glove - Vegas has 2-1 odds in favor of the shave)

Hernandez is old enough that he may need to utilize his facial hair in a follicle transplant to fix the growing bald spots on his head. At the same time, Sabathia would probably agree to shave in exchange for a steak dinner and half-dozen cupcakes.

The problem lies within the Indians coaching staff. While inconsequential staff members such as the bullpen catchers, bench coach and first base coach sport the clean-shaven look, the heart of Eric Wedge's coaching staff enjoy sporting the grizzled look. If Showalter's rule were to be imposed, pitching coach Carl Willis and hitting coach Derek Shelton would be forced to prune their whiskers, potentially leading to a level of alienation and discomfort that could affect their performance and in-turn work its way down through the two facets of the game that they coach: pitching and hitting. Of course upon finding his team suddenly struggling to hit and pitch, manager Eric Wedge would no longer have his secret weapon readily available: the impromptu growing of the Ron Jeremy porn 'stache.

The absence of this Wedge secret-weapon would in-turn result in Eric having to rely solely on his managerial abilities to keep the club afloat, which of course can't possibly bode well for the Indians' fortunes in 2007.

NEXT UP IN THE CURSEDCLEVELAND.COM SPRING TRAINING REPORT:

Eric Plunk and Albie Lopez visit Winter Haven to teach Fausto Carmona how to control his pitches and how to deal with failure.

Special report by CursedCleveland.com correspondent Juice Brennan

6. Washington Redskins - DE Jamaal Anderson (Arkansas) : The Redskins defense struggled to make plays last year (trust me, I wisely drafted them for my fantasy team). Andre Carter led the team in sacks with 6.0 and the team had 19.0 sacks total. That is miserable. Coming off a surprising Junior year with 13.5 sacks, Jamaal Anderson should help out immediately.

7. Minnesota Vikings - WR Dwayne Jarrett (USC) : The days of Randy Moss and Chris Carter are long gone and a new era of Troy Williamson and Travis Taylor has been ushered in to the tune of about a combined 1100 yards between the two. Dwayne Jarrett may not be a burner but he is solid and was productive from day one in college. I think people need to stop worrying that Jarrett is Mike Williams reincarnated.

8. Houston Texans - OT Levi Brown (Penn State) : God it sucks to be a Houston fan (and I'm a Browns fan so that should be very insulting). Another year of not getting the player you want. After the Browns snatch Adrian Peterson up, the Texans best bet will be improving the NFL's worst offensive line. Carr was sacked 41 times this year and 249 in his career. Personally, I think Levi Brown is better than Joe Thomas even though I have not watched either one of them play a down.

9. Miami Dolphins - DT Alan Branch (Michigan) : Doesn't it seem like every year there is a defensive tackle that everyone says is unlike any they have seen in years? Well last year it was Haloti Ngata and this year it is Alan Branch. Between Vonnie Holliday, Dan Wilkinson and Keith Traylor the Dolphins could use a little youth in the middle. Branch can play from day one and plug his fat 331-pound body in the middle.

10. Atlanta Falcons - DE Gaines Adams (Clemson) : Atlanta's defensive line is in big need of help. Grady Jackson is 34, their best pass-rusher Patrick Kerney opted to not resign and Jonathan Babineaux is fresh off beating his girlfriend's pitbull to death. Gaines Adams will be a steal here. He has been productive throughout his college career and will be an instant presence coming off of the edge.

11. San Fransisco 49ers - S Laron Landry (LSU) : Might not be Ronnie Lott, but they need playmakers on the defense and he is an animal.

12. Buffalo Bills - DT Amobi Okoye (Louisville) : A prodigy, played at Louisville as a 16-year old Freshman. Blew away everyone at the Senior Bowl.

13. St. Louis Rams - OLB Lawrence Timmons (Florida State) : He was overshadowed by Buster Davis most of the year and this is probably a little bit of a reach but sometimes you have to reach when your outside linebackers are currently Brandon Chillar and Pisa Tinoisamoa.

14. Carolina Panthers - S Reggie Nelson (Florida) : John Fox probably would have liked a hard-hitter like Landry but they will settle for Nelson who isn't too shabby himself.

15. Pittsburgh Steelers - CB Darrelle Revis (Pittsburgh) : I think every Browns fan got a good laugh when the Steelers threw a bunch of money at Ike Taylor (he is pitiful). Their going to go hometown here and this guy is good, real good. How do I know this? Most the mock drafts that I have ripped off today say that, (I have never seen him play).

16. Green Bay Packers - RB Marshawn Lynch (California) : His recent arrest might allow him to slip a few spots to Green Bay. It appears Ahman Green is on his way out (and I can't remember the last time he was good anyways) so this will be a perfect fit.
Editor's note: It has since come to our attention that Lynch was never arrested, only accused. The district attorney declined to press charges. Thanks to a reader for catching the mistake. There are 42 other errors in this mock draft, let's see if you can find the rest!

17. Jacksonville Jaguars - WR Robert Meachem (Tennessee) : Some people will have Ted Ginn ahead of him but Meachem is a little more polished. He is also 6'3" and about 210. His stock will probably skyrocket after the combine (when this fails to happen you can come back and rip my mock for having him this high).

18. Cincinatti Bengals - OLB/DE Quentin Moses (Georgia) : I don't know what the time table is for recovery after a broken neck, but I think David Pollack is out for awhile. They will go with another Bulldog here and see if he can make the switch as a 3-4 rush linebacker.

19. Tennessee Titans - CB Leon Hall (Michigan) : I guess I will rip off some of the mocks I've been reading and go with the same joke I've seen on every one. "As long as he doesn't have to cover Ted Ginn or Dwayne Jarrett then he will be fine". Pacman is their only good corner and he is always one club fight away from a 4-game suspension.

20. New York Giants - OLB Jon Beason (Miami) : Not quite sure who Reggie Torbor but my best guess is that will be the guy Beason replaces.

21. Denver Broncos - DE Charles Johnson (Georgia) : Looks like the old Brown's D-Line wasn't as good as it was hyped up to be. Charles Johnson will give them a good pass-rusher opposite Ebeneezer Ekuban.

22. Dallas Cowboys - WR Ted Ginn (Ohio State) : There probably are bigger areas of need for them but they are getting old and have no depth at receiver. Ginn is not polished but would do fine in the slot and would instantly turn around their mediocre return game as long as Roy Hall stays away from him.

23. Kansas City Chiefs - WR Dwayne Bowe (LSU) : I can't think of a team that has settled with crappier receivers year in year out. Samie Parker and Eddie Kennison's total jersey sales combined last year were five, four of which were sold on the clearance rack at Marshalls. Dwayne Bowe could be a star. He was somewhat of a late-bloomer but that happens when you are partially blind sometimes. His eyes are fixed now and he can see the ball (this could be one of the steals of the draft).

24. New England Patriots - OLB Paul Posluszny (Penn State) : He's an old school Bill Belichick type linebacker and if he gets a concussion he is not going to rat on Bill like Ted Johnson did. Shame on you Ted, your motor skills are not important to any of us anymore because you no longer play football.

25. New York Jets - CB Aaron Ross (Texas) : Best available corner and a pretty good value if he falls this far.

26. Philadelphia Eagles - OLB Rufus Alexander (Oklahoma) : I love Trotter and so does Philly but he is not good anymore. But the Eagles will give him one more year b/c everybody loves the "Wood Chop" celebration. Rufus is a tough Philly-type guy. Dhani Jones........Is not.

27. New Orleans Saints - MLB Patrick Willis (Mississippi) : All white linebacking units haven't worked since the 1970's, and they certainly didn't work in the playoffs against Chicago. Patrick Willis is probably the best linebacker in the draft and I will be surprised if he slips this far but ILB's always do.

28. New England Patriots - WR Sidney Rice (South Carolina) : The Patriots were about a catch or two away from advancing in the playoffs but the Colts hit wide reciever Reche Caldwell with the dreaded Zero coverage scheme where they leave you wide open and see if you can catch the ball. Reche Caldwell didn't......and he should probably kill himself. Rice catches just about everything thrown his way.

29. Baltimore Ravens - OT Justin Blaylock (Texas) : He is massive and the Raven's O-line is getting old. Could probably play either guard spot or right tackle.

30. San Diego Chargers - S Michael Griffin (Texas) : Definitely need help at receiver but most the good ones are gone by now. Not many weak spots on this team but god did their secondary suck in the playoffs.

31. Chicago Bears - OT Joe Staley (Central Michigan) : Fred Miller is getting old and they need guys to give Rex Grossman time so he can throw more interceptions instead of fumbling in the pocket.

32. Indianapolis Colts - DT Justin Harrell (Tennessee) : The Colts defense fooled everyone by saving up energy during the regular season and then showing up in the playoffs. If your defense makes Ron Dayne look like Walter Payton, then you probably need to beef up the middle. Harrell would have been higher but he is coming off of an injury.

#15 L.A. Clippers – I don’t mind the Clip Joint, but they certainly are not better than the Cavs. This team is 7-15 on the road, and in the Wild Wild West, they will turn out to be nothing more than a .500 team (Try starting Corey Maggette.. itmay help). EDGE: Cavs.

#14 Miami Heat – This is just completely mind-boggling that they put this miserable team ahead of the Cavs (Yes, I know they just beat the Cavs less than a week ago). The Heat are three games below .500 and have a bunch of has been NBA players (i.e. Shaq, Walker, Payton, Zo, Doleac, Eddie Jones, etc.) who are not good, and rely solely on D-Wade. I understand that they are the defending NBA champs and D-Wade is a superstar but we cannot keep reliving the past. Wake up and realize that this team is BAD and earns my award for “King Nick’s least favorite NBA team.” P.S. They start Jason Kapono! EDGE: Cavs.

#12 Indiana Pacers – NOOOO! Why is this happening?! The Pacers traded away all of their thugs for slow white dudes and now boast a lineup consisting of Troy Murphy, Mike Dunleavy, and Jeff Foster. This has first round playoff loss written all over it. You will never convince me this team is better than the Cavs (Unless of course we're talking about their collective GPA's). EDGE: Cavs.

8:06 - Mike Goldberg tells us that the first bout is "Coming Up Next!"

8:14 - The first referee is Jorge Alonso. Not to be confused with Steve Mazagatti, or Big John, or Herb Dean. One could almost argue there's a bit too much diversity in the UFC. (Except for the talent pool, which has far too many mediocre fighters).

8:18 - "Spencer Fisher has one stop light in his home town." How Mike Goldberg gets so many mundane life stories in such a short period of time is beyond me. This guy could condense Bill Clinton's 565-page autobiography My Life into two five-minute rounds.

8: 23 - Fisher gets Kinged with a temple shot. When you're losing on a Fight Night things are not looking good for your career (Unless you're name is Chris Leben, who somehow gets as many fights as he wants. People love seeing terrible fighters, and Chris Leben is a terrible fighter. When is his fight tonight anyway?

8:27 - Brooke Hogan is our first celebrity of the night (star of Hogan knows best) - she brought that overweight mustache-wearing meathead from the show as her date. He's been on a few episodes.

8:31 -Franca tells Missta Dana White he deserves a title shot. Yeah, and so does Matt Serra.

8:42 - Two UFC Heavyweights fighting lifelessly and conservatively. Which one is Tim Sylvia again?

9:03 - Kordell Stewart appears in a Pros vs Joes promo. I can tell you two things Stewart is a pro at: pitching and catching.

9:14 - Andre Rison makes an appearance. Art Modell must have taken out a loan to pay for Rison's transportation, food and admission.

9:21 - Ed "Short Fuse" Herman needs a new nickname...how about "Short Career?" Has anyone every seen him win anything? Maybe a game of checkers? Poker?

9:29 - And my Ed Herman joke is ruined. Hope you're happy.

9:46 - Main Event...It's looking like a Buckeye finally put together a good game plan for a big matchup - OSU alum Sean Salmon has been pleasantly surprising.

9:53 - And, my Salmon joke is ruined. Hope you're happy. I think Mardy Collins has been training at the Sean Salmon School of fighting. One blow and OUT. This could be the end of the UFC as we know it. Salmon's dead right?